Dear Abby: Relationship is strained, and then came Brad
Dear Abby I m and in a -year relationship with my boyfriend Justin Things have been rocky since his business went under last year For months I have been working shifts a week at two jobs to cover our bills including a mortgage Barely seeing each other has put a strain on our relationship I never intended to develop feelings for another man but I have them and they are real Brad and I work together and talk often He makes me feel a way I haven t felt in years There is innocent flirting nothing sexual or inappropriate We don t communicate outside of work In my mind we haven t crossed any lines except that I have developed feelings for him I believe he feels the same about me although neither of us has put it into words Brad is very shy and doesn t talk to the bulk people He works two jobs and goes to school I don t want to leave Justin I love him and we are good together But I can t ignore what is happening inside me right now Help please Torn in California Dear Torn Working two jobs is to put it mildly stressful I can see why your relationship with Justin is strained You are exhausted I can also understand why you might welcome the distraction of a flirtation with Brad However unless you have left something out of your letter Brad hasn t solicited you out even for a coffee let alone to leave Justin I m not suggesting you ignore the feelings you have been growing for Brad but I am telling you to focus more capacity on fixing what has gone wrong with your relationship with your boyfriend Dear Abby For years my husband and I have socialized with a small group of couples all empty nesters in our s and s We meet at our favorite neighborhood bars for happy hour live music dancing and other city events and we have a great time Over the last year one couple has started inviting several of their -something children and a grandbaby yes to the bars at night to hang out with us It becomes loud and messy the more the kids drink The conversations are different and the baby cries and it has totally changed the vibe of our get-togethers I like this couple but not particularly their kids Is there a tactful way to redirect our get-togethers back to just our mature group rather than family time without damaging friendships or should we suck it up or bow out Unpleasant Time in the West Dear Unpleasant Poll the other members of your group about how they feel about the younger couple and the baby being with you You may discover you are not the only ones who aren t reassured with it If that s the occurrence then someone is going to have to speak up and object However if you and your husband are alone in feeling the way you do the two of you should bow out and socialize with other friends Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA
