Dear Abby: Help! I need social skills, stat!

Dear Abby I m a man in my early s who has made a career switch My new field requires me to be more social because I will be meeting with colleagues specific of them older than I am and attending bargain shows meetings and business and social networking outings This was never part of my former job I m somewhat shy and I can be uneasy in conversations I don t reliably know what to say if there is a break in the conversation A relative notified me you have tips on how to manage conversing with all kinds of people in different situations If they are still available it would be useful for me Gearing Up in Washington D C Dear Gearing Up Your relative may have been referring to my booklet How to Be Popular which is still in print I will send you a copy Making social conversation doesn t come naturally to everyone Sparse individuals are adept at it because they are so focused on their own insecurities that it distracts them from reaching out The keys to social dexterity are Be friendly A smile is an excellent icebreaker because it puts others around you at ease Be kind Be honest Be a good listener and people will think you are a genius Show an interest in the people you meet by asking about their interests but avoid sensitive topics particularly in a business situation My How to Be Popular booklet contains a multitude of other tips on how to approach others and what to say and not say when trying to make conversation It can be ordered by sending your name and address plus a check or money order for U S funds to Dear Abby Popularity Booklet P O Box Kings Mills OH - Shipping and handling are included in the price If all of this doesn t come naturally think of it as a skill that requirements to be polished Practice saying hello to six people a day away from the work surroundings And make sure to cultivate your own interests so you will have something to contribute when you talk to others When you receive your booklet don t read it just once Keep it on hand for reference because you may find it useful in a large number of situations where you interact with others Dear Abby My fitness center has three rows of treadmills and ellipticals One woman usually selects the front row Like a great number of in the gym she wears tight leggings which is fine However hers are stretched so thin across her buttocks that the fabric is semi-transparent Although this is unsightly it is not a huge deal to me and I totally don t look her way I wonder though if folks would generally prefer that someone gently mention tricky issues like this to them It reminds me of seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on a shoe or a skirt hem stuck in the waistline Looking the Other Way Dear Looking I m glad you sought before trying to be helpful In a matter like this it would be better to keep looking the other way rather than address your fellow gym rat I don t know what the dress code may be at your gym but if you have a question about it you should ask the manager Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren also known as Jeanne Phillips and was founded by her mother Pauline Phillips Contact Dear Abby at www DearAbby com or P O Box Los Angeles CA